My music journey (part 1)

It all started when I was 14 in drama class. We decided to make a scene of a rap battle. A friend of mine complimented me on my lyrics so I decided to continue to battle on online forums (which were very active back in the day). After losing a few battles I realised I had more of a knack for writing songs then battling. I continued to make songs until about 17. This was the point I took my first hiatus from music.

There were two reasons why I stopped, the first being I needed to (and I was told to) concentrate on my studies as it was the last year of high school. The second was at the time I felt like I had outgrown rap. I felt this way because I was writing songs for the sake of writing songs. The content was immature and I was creating music that didn’t reflect me as a person (for example writing club songs even though I never went clubbing)

I dabbled in making songs throughout university but my concentration moved towards going down the traditional path of finishing my degree and landing a role in a large corporation. Despite my efforts, many job rejections and interviews I didn’t end up exactly where I thought I’d be. I did get a job in banking but it wasn’t something that required a degree. Looking back I’m grateful for that experience as my co-workers were loving but management was not. There was a degree of bullying, I was told once in a meeting I was the “weakest link”. I wasn’t performing well (I take the blame for that) and I was threatened of being fired. In retrospect my mind state and my attitude towards things didn’t help. I would constantly get sick and from the stress some of my hair started to go grey. I was only 21.  I used to look out the window at the end of the day and wonder when things would change. At the same time I started writing again. At first making music gave me some solace but it actually made me feel worse. The same negative attitude I was having towards my situation carried over to my songs. There was no hope, it was bleak and in fact made me feel more depressed. That’s why again, I stopped

Eventually around a year later things did change. I manage to receive what I was hoping for which a position in a “graduate development program”. I was extremely happy, but this feeling was short lived. I was confused, I obtained what I wanted but I still had the feelings of lack. After a conversation with a mentor of mine, he suggested I read the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. This was first introduction to personal development and more importantly personal responsibility. I then went on a reading binge; my favourite book was Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now”. Given I have an extremely erratic mind it opened my eyes to disconnecting myself with my thoughts and moving towards being more present. Another favourite of mine was Dr Joe Dispenza’s “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” and Deepak Chopra’s “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”. After I finished my reading binge I starting writing again, but my attitude towards how I approached music changed. I was now writing from a place that was filled with hope rather than darkness. At that point I decided to make my first step to recording my songs in an actual studio. This was 4 years ago.